Dear Daddy on Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day used to be a big thing for you and Mummy. You’d book a table at your favourite restaurant and Mummy would do her hair, put on her favourite dress and wear high heels. You’d spent the night having long conversations about your plans for the future, reminisce over how you met, drink too much wine and fall in to bed together at the end of a wonderful night.
Now you have me.
This year, Valentine’s Day is going to be different. You’ll want to go out still, but Mummy won’t want to leave me. Aunty Susie has a date and, while she does her best, Nanna warms my bottle too much and doesn’t wind me the way Mummy likes. There are a host of reasons Mummy will give, but the truth is, she doesn’t want to leave me.
You know it. I know it. You’re not going out tonight.
Mummy will want to cook a romantic meal for you, but the truth is she’s been trying to get the kitchen cleaned all day as it is. It was lunch time before she finally got me to sleep and she grabbed a quick shower. No, she’s not shaved her legs. She barely had time to wash the sick out of her hair before I woke up again and summoned her back to comfort me.
Things have changed since I came along.
So tonight you’ll get home from work and instead of wearing a sexy black dress Mummy will be in her pyjamas, curled up on the sofa. With me, in her arms, yet again. There is nothing in the fridge, or freezer, or cupboards to eat – we didn’t get the chance to go shopping today.
As you share a take-away in front of the TV you won’t think back to your first kiss, or the night you met; you’ll marvel at how much I’ve grown and how clever I am now that I can smile, or hold something, or sit up. You won’t make plans for your next holiday or anniversary, you’ll wonder who I will become, what my favourite bedtime story will be and whether I should have a baby brother or sister one day.
There is no wine or champagne, not for you tonight. You won’t fall in to bed together and spend the night in a passionate embrace because now it’s Mummy-Daddy-Baby’s bed. Besides, Mummy is tired, and she shrugs you off when you try to love her. You think it’s because she doesn’t love you anymore and can’t be bothered, or because motherhood has changed her. It has, she’s spent all day comforting and holding and stroking and nurturing me. She doesn’t have the energy to have someone else need her, not right now. Not when she has to be up again in 4 hours to feed me.
Maybe on this, the most romantic day of the year you’re sad that you’re no longer the most important person in Mummy’s life. I have replaced you as the centre of her Universe
Honestly, you’re not even the most important person in your life any more. But you, and Mummy, are the most important people in my life. You are my safety, my comfort, my love and my world.
Never forget that I am Mummy’s everything, and you gave me to her. She will love you forever for that.
Happy Valentine’s Day, from your Baby.